endings.

giving up something that means so much to me hurts. especially with memories, friends gained.
but everything i pride myself on, i count as loss, compared to Jesus, my best friend and the only hope i have to be a better man.

again, lunch break lyrics.

'Of late my mind has been filled with false vision and pretension. It's
taken a while, but I've taken down the flawed systems I once employed,
and have nearly purged myself of all ill intention.'

So often I fall into the same trap: a consumeristic lifestyle, living
primarily concerned with self. It's such a foundational principle of
true love to forget self and lay one's life down, but too often I find
myself at the other end of the spectrum.

'God save me, lest I miss the point once again.'

:)

first words.

something i wrote whilst on lunch break the other day.
incoherent, perhaps! but it depicts part of a huge battle in my life, and i feel many others.
so i hope you draw some sort of gold from it.
peace!

---

My eyes have seen enough of this lust and filth. My ears have heard enough crudity.
My body longs for change, my soul thirsts for your streams, but i guess I've been scared of the way you brighten up this room, searing my eyes as i strive to adjust to your blinding light.

However, there is still hope for me; i know that once i see you these chains break forever, and these shackles fall off, only to waste away in the pits of hell from which they came.

I used to feel so far gone.
I once was a tree planted, now i am uprooted.
I once had a comfortable niche, but now i find myself outside of it.

I realise now that my life is not about security. It's not about plans, and definitely not about me.
For love is denying self and giving in, again and again.

---

listening: copeland - beneath the medicine tree
reading: the book of john, the perks of being a wallflower